The alerts for your AH-HA living (www.humourversity.com)

Hello Laughmates,

Hope you’re having fun and making profits, making yourself and other people laugh.

No matter how good the joke you’re telling is, you can always improve the telling, the timing and the laugh response by using the 15 don’ts of joke telling.

Let’s look at 3 so-so jokes first and then the 15 don’ts of joke telling. When you tell these jokes, or any jokes, practice using the 15 don’ts and they’re guaranteed to punch up the laughs.

Joke 1

A business coach dies and reports to the pearly gates. St Peters’ checks his dossier and says, “Ahh, you’re a business coach, you’re in the wrong place.” So the business coach then reports to the gates of Hell and is welcomed. Soon the business coach gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell and starts designing and implementing improvements. After a while they’ve got an air conditioning team, a burning sulphur health centre, and a Demon customer service system.  Soon the business coach is a pretty popular guy. One day God called Satin up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So how’s it going down there in Hell?” Satin replies, “Hey, things are going great, we’ve got air conditioning, no more smelly burning sulphur and happy Demons. And there’s no telling what the Business coach is going to come up with next.” God replies, “What??? You’ve got a business coach, that’s a mistake – he should never have gone down there, send him up here.” Satin said, “No way, I like having a business coach on the staff and I’m keeping him.” God said, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue the hell out of you.” Satin laughs like hell and yells from hell, “Yeah right and just where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Joke 2

A $500,000 company that was running a business suddenly conked out. We all know that feeling don’t we? No one in the business could fix it. So reluctantly they called a consultant from the manufacturer. On arriving, he took out a tiny hammer from his executive tool case and tapped a specific spot on the side of the computer….tappppp…..and bingo it started immediately. He gave the manager his bill for $1000. The manager went berserk screaming, “$1000? All you did was tap the thing with hammer, I want you to itemise the bill!” The consultant wrote on the bottom of the bill

‘Tapping the computer with hammer – $1

Knowing where to tap – $999’

Joke 3

This fella is lying in bed, with another man’s woman. Suddenly they hear her husband come in the front door. She screams softly, “Jump out the window, quick my husband’s coming.” He jumps out totally naked, smack bang into the middle of the yearly city to surf fun run. Acting as cool as a cucumber, he gets into step with all the fun runners, a slightly surprised bloke running next to him said, “Fair go mate, do you always run in the nuddy?” This fella kept jogging, and said, “It’s the only way to run son, you should try it.” The other bloke said. “Do you always wear a condom when you run?” This bloke puffing says, thinking quickly “Only if it looks like raining”

15 Don’ts of Joke Telling

Ok Laughmates, let’s look at and use the 15 don’ts of joke telling

  1. Don’t over emphasise to the audience that the joke your going to tell is an extremely funny one, let the listeners be the judge of the strength of your jokes
  2. Don’t use a joke if you have any doubts about it, if you don’t think it’ll be at least 80% effective, don’t use it (when in doubt, leave it out)
  3. Don’t laugh at your own jokes, only 1 person in 100 make the joke they’re telling funnier by laughing at it themselves (of course you could be the exception like Russel Gilbert)
  4. Don’t ever interrupt yourself when you’re telling a joke by saying, “Please stop me if you’ve heard this one before.”
  5. Don’t forget the punch lines of your jokes
  6. Don’t use a dialect or an impersonation in telling a joke unless you’re good at it, if you must use a dialect, save it for the finish
  7. Don’t ever tell jokes about physical ailments; unless it’s something a lot of people suffer from, like baldness. Or unless the joke tells of an achievement in the face of hardship. Your audience can be inspired or be encouraged to greater achievement
  8. Don’t be caught unprepared with your jokes down and you mouth wide open without anything to say
  9. Don’t tell a joke the moment you think of it, unless it fits neatly into the conversation. If it doesn’t, wait for a quiet spot and throw it in if it’s still appropriate
  10. Don’t look around hesitantly and say, “I’m not sure if I should tell this joke in mixed company.” Tell it or don’t.
  11. Don’t pretend your telling a true story, unless it’s a true story
  12. Don’t talk too fast and keep the joke as short as possible
  13. Don’t telegraph a joke, telling it in such a way the audience will know what the punch line is going to be
  14. Don’t be apologetic or timid when telling jokes, be confident and tell it with a ‘take it or leave it’ air (this depends on your joke telling identity)
  15. Don’t forget to have a prepared saver to tell after the joke if you don’t get a laugh

 

Since you have enjoyed our joke, follow our Joke Alerts blog via your e-mail by filling the appropriate field in the right hand corner of this site.You might also like to check further information about Our Philosophy and ways that we can help you to keep your AH-HA living on  www.humourversity.com.au or on   1300 HA HO HEE (1300 424 643).

Author:  Laughing Jack 

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