Hello Laughmates,
Hope you’re having fun and making profits, making yourself and other people laugh.
There are two types of jokes:
- The Joke
- The truth stories
(personal experiences, problems, accidents, peculiarities, embarrassments, failures, possessions, disappointments, etc)
Something you would benefit from doing research on:
| Family | Workmates | Radio | Comedians | TV | Speakers |
A Businessman & A Fisherman
A businessman walking along a river bank came across a fisherman, with a rod in his hands. Just as the businessman approached, the rod jerked violently; “Hey” he said “You’ve got a fish on your line”.
“Would you mind pulling it in for me?” Said the fisherman.
He did and the fisherman said “Would you mind putting another worm on the hook and casting it out for me?”
The businessman did this and said “A bloke as lazy as you needs a son to do these things for him”
“Good idea” said the fisherman “Can you find me a woman to marry who is pregnant?”
Insects Football
A team of elephants was playing a team of insects at football. With only a few minutes to go the elephants were well ahead. Then the insects brought on their reserve, a huge centipede, he really fired up the insects and kicked 15 goals himself. The insect’s won! At a social gathering after the game, the elephant’s captain asked the insect’s skipper “Why didn’t you play the centipede earlier?”
He said “It took him all this time to put his boots on”.
Being Aggressive & Demanding
A timid patient was told by a hypnotherapist that he should be more aggressive and demanding. When he arrived home that night he said to his wife “From now on you take orders from me. Prepare my dinner and lay out my clothes, I’m going out and guess who’s going to dress me in my black suit and white tie?”
She rolled up her sleeves and said “The undertaker”
The Bank Manager
A small business owner walked into the bank and says “May I have an appointment with the bank manager” The teller replied “I’m sorry but Mr Johnson died 3 weeks ago” The small business owner says “Thank you” asks nothing else and leaves.
Next week the same small business owner walks into the same bank again and asks the same question again “May I have an appointment with the bank manager” again the teller replies
“I’m sorry Mr Johnson dies 4 weeks ago” Again the small business owner says “Thank you” and leaves.
Next week the small business does this again and gets the same answer. The following week he tries again,by this time she has had enough and says “Look I told you 5 times the bank manager is dead, why do you keep asking?” The small business owner replies “No particular reason, I just like to hear it”
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Author: Laughing Jack
Joke Alerts 